Saturday, September 29, 2012
Today it is pouring rain outside. It is cold, damp, and dark in the house. I wanted to make something wintery for my supper and decided on baked beans. I don't really like baked beans very much, but I didn't want to go to the store to get different ingredients. Corned Beef would have been good, or pot roast. I could have made some bread. My old favorite Arroz con Cerdo came to mind as well, but all would have required a trip to the market. This is how I disappoint myself at this stage in my life. I settle for the easiest path, so the result of most of my efforts is a diminished substitute for what I really wanted.
Well, the beans have soaked and now I must simmer them for an hour before I put them in the oven. It will be late when they are done.......perhaps around ten o'clock.
Friday, September 21, 2012
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Friday, September 14, 2012
Otherwise the summer has gone by as summers do. Now the Cosmos that I planted from seed is blooming prettily, always evidence of the onset of Fall. There have been only a few very hot days, so the whole season had an air of unfulfilled expectation. There was neither disappointment, nor satisfaction, though, only a mild sense of having missed something that ought to have been there. Carrie visited a few weeks ago, on her birthday, and our time together was beautifully enjoyable. How wonderful it is that our relationship has never faltered, never been tumultuous. Since the day she was born she has been nothing but a joy. Being a parent to both my children has far exceeded any expectations I had when Phil and I decided to have a baby. The reality that what you are doing is making another human being is slow in coming.....very slow. I really miss seeing and knowing Jesse as an adult. He and I had a considerable amount of time together by ourselves, after both Phil and Carrie were both gone. We were very comfortable, moving in separate but somehow compatible worlds that overlapped in pleasant, meaningful ways. Well, at least that's how I saw it.