These are some of the last pet portraits I did for the horse shelter. I didn't get to photograph them all, but most are here. I feel good for having done them, for making such a concrete contribution.
Yesterday I began a post that somehow disappeared.........there is a lot about Blogger that is different in this new version, and I'm having trouble with it. The gist of it was, though, that I re-read the first book I had made of this blog. I got it out because I had decided that I was ready to look at the pictures of Lytton. It has been all this time that I haven't even been able to, but it suddenly became what I wanted to do. I can't really describe the experience.........I was almost detached. Probably I had to be in order to do it, but I think it's the first step in my being able to accept that he's gone. I certainly hope so. The year since he died has been almost consumed by my attempts to somehow deal with the loss.
The other thing that came out of my reading the book was a desire to put more into my blog. I used to write more about many more things than I do now. I blame that on my camera, in that I wanted a picture to go with every post. That meant that if I didn't have a picture, I didn't write. I ended up doing little more than recording my artwork and my comments about it. I have kept a separate journal, where I have written about many things I thought were not appropriate for Emma to write about. I had separated from her in my grief........she who was interested in so many things, who found pleasure in the little life she lead. My new year's resolution is to resurrect her.
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