Wednesday, December 17, 2014
You have to admit..........
Yesterday I had the idea of doing origami using fabric, which is not original with me by any means. I got a piece of cloth that I imagined would hold a pressed pleat well. As soon as I began, I realized making a grid by pressing folds presents some significant problems. As you might imagine, once the horizontal pleats are pressed, ironing the vertical ones destroys them. I abandoned the project with uncharacteristic resignation.
How I love my dogs and my chickens. I think I could have been happy spending my life taking care of farm animals. In a way it's a selfish kind of happiness, because it comes from knowing that I provide everything for them, that I give them the happiest little lives they can have.....the other side of that being that they have no knowledge of any other way of life and therefore have no responsibility to feel gratitude. To them life is just what is. They take food and shelter and comfort for granted.
I wonder if this pleases me so much because I have never lived up to expectations, never achieved the goals set for me, never accomplished what I was supposed to. I am smart and talented, yet a failure at everything our society expects of such a person. I never really wanted to be that person except for my insatiable desire to please. Wanting to please is a terrible, crippling, degrading thing.