Saturday, September 16, 2017

Back Again with New Resolve

So I'm giving it another try.  My blogging friend Pamela suggested I add a link to my blog on facebook, which is a great idea as long as I can figure out how to do it.  That way I may get more readers back here.  In any case, to sum up the interval since my last post, I guess I am here in Eastport to stay.  I have searched and searched for a place to live in Bangor without success.  I was informed by phone on the day before I was to move that I do not meet the qualifications for residency in the housing development I had planned on.  I was all packed, had hired the mover, given my notice to my landlady, etc.  Then I received an apologetic call from the housing authority that I didn't qualify to live there after all.  After a few days of ranting and raving, I decided to investigate private rentals.  For a few weeks I called various landlords (Craig's List is not reliable..full of various types of scams) and set up viewings.  I drove to Bangor full of optimism, sure that I could charm reluctant landlords into taking my rent subsidy as part payment.  Well, I underestimated the prejudice landlords feel against people who have rent subsidies.  I was summarily dismissed as soon as I spilled the beans, no matter how charmingly I presented myself.  I returned home in a rage, which I vented by writing a letter to the editor of the Bangor Daily News.  It was printed with the headline "prejudice against the poor," and seeing it there soothed me somewhat.  I knew it would fall on deaf ears, but it made me feel better.

The upshot of all of this is that I realize I have to stay here in Eastport.  Once I accepted that, I remembered how much I loved it here.  My determination to move had taken on a life of its own.  I had lost sight of why I decided to do it in the first place.  The thoughts I had about going back centered around recovering the life I had there.  I think now that I was just feeling nostalgic, that that life would not magically revive itself.  I dreamed of all the things I loved there, my friends, my horseback riding, the Art Society, teaching, my various jobs as a courtroom artist, needlepoint designer, photograph enhancer (in those days that was done by hand with tiny brushes and various kinds of inks), swimming at the Y, and most of all, school.  What a great adult student I was!  I have worked at so many jobs in my life, one of which was several years as an art teacher.  But of all the roles I've had, I loved being a student best.  I went back to the University after my marriage ended and would be there still if I could be.  As it was I was there for ten years, in my glory, adored by teachers, liked and respected by fellow students of all ages.  Big deal in the art community was I, giving speeches, president of the Art Society, member of three galleries  Every year I traveled to New York and Massachusetts for art workshops, both as a student and as a teacher.  I think I imagined something vaguely similar if I returned.

In any case, this is a different time of my life.  By way of bolstering my own ego for what I am today, I'm posting a picture of a large painting I did recently.  By way of a relay of three drivers I arranged with an investment counselor I used to make a company Christmas card for to get this painting to Bangor for the annual art show she puts on.  The painting is big, 40x40, and it sold at the show for what for me is big bucks.  Selling is by far the least of my art ambitions........in fact somehow exchanging art for money discredits the work somehow...........but this time it was enough  to help me financially for the ominous coming of winter.  I was sorry to see it go,  and I can only hope I can appreciate it for what it turned into......cash.

4 comments:

P. J. Grath said...

I love your painting and am selfishly glad you will be staying in Eastport. Somehow, you in Eastport, me in Northport -- it makes me feel closer to you, even though yours is Eastport, Maine, not Michigan. I know -- makes no sense....

Now, about linking to Fb. Look up at the top of your blogspot page. You should be on the page with just the post you want to link. See the word "More" with a little downward point? Click on that, and you'll get -- now I forget exactly what it will say, but I think something like "Share with Facebook," and then you click and have the choice of linking on your own timeline (or status or whatever!!!) or on a page you manage. It's really quite slick and easy, and I can't believe it took me so long to figure it out.

Gerry Sell said...

Hello Cheri. PJ posted a link to your blog and said I'd like it and the painting intrigued me and so naturally I hopped on over and settled in with a cup of coffee. PJ is very nearly always right.

Congratulations on selling that fine painting. I'm sure it went to a good home. I wish you could have met Betty Beeby of Eastport Michigan. She was a wonderful artist who made a living from her art and who also spent a great deal of her time encouraging young artists. "Yes," she said to them. "Yes you can make a living as an artist." She would give you a good talking-to. But she would also understand exactly how you feel.

It's easier for writers to let go of work - at least we still have it, and can read it any time we like. Although sometimes when work is published it is not as intended . . . (In fairness I have to admit it's sometimes better.) Betty Beeby told stories about the various drafts she made of work for book illustrations. A tedious business, trying to create someone else's vision. But a great joy to create your own vision and then to know that someone else loves it enough to want to take it home!

I hope you keep blogging. I suspect PJ is trying to nudge me back to writing life and then there will be new Torch Lake Views posts. If I'm lucky, she'll succeed.

Deborah Case said...

Cherie I so understand your reasons for wanting to return to Bangor. Moving as much as I have done there are places and times I'd love to go back to. Remembering isn't the same as being there in the moment, is it?

I do hope you'll keep blogging.

karenwihbey said...

Glorious painting! Good to know you're still in Eastport and happy about it. And nice to have you back on your blog. I've moved a few times and am in the woods in New Hampshire. Still getting settled but just hung two of your paintings in my small apartment. They're timeless!