Good-bye Dear Benny

Today I took Benny to the vet to be euthanized.  He has been declining for so long I can barely remember when he was the feisty, aggressive, dangerous dog that I adopted from Phyliis because her husband wouldn't have him in the house.  Over the many years I had him, he mellowed somewhat, but he was a biter to the very end.  I have known for some time that it was time for him to go.  He was deaf, blind, and barely able to walk.  He was incontinent much of the time.  Nevertheless, how I hated to make that decision.  How do I have the right to decide that anyone should die?  Once life is gone, there is no changing your mind.  And who is to decide when non-existence is better than life, no matter what that life is like?  The decision to end Lytton's life was in that way easier to make.  He was so obviously suffering with no chance of relief.  But Benny wasn't suffering physically as far as I could tell.    He was just empty of everything that made him a dog.  He never knew where he was, couldn't find his way out of a corner, couldn't find his food or water.  Touching him startled and frightened him.  He slept most of the time, and the rest of the time he wandered around bumping into things and falling down.

Still, death is permanent.  Nothing makes that okay for me.  And deciding that Benny would no longer exist was very difficult.  He was a rotten dog, but he was a little piece of life that I have snuffed out.

New Garden

The more I thought about it, the more I felt uncomfortable about the vegetables trying to grow in the shade.  I may as well at least start out right.  So I dug another garden in a spot that gets the sun most of the day.......only about a foot from the first one.  Then I planted two Hostas at the end of it where the sun disappears earlier.  Those poor things have struggled to survive for years in their sunny spot in front of the house.  It is too much sun for them and they turn brown and die about the middle of July.  I'm hoping that everyone will be happy in this new environment.  The Hostas will also show the vegetables what they are supposed to do...grow.

My Next Project

Inspired by the fact that Thom is going to give me some tomato plants that he started from seed, I decided to make a vegetable garden. A major problem is that it is shaded by the house in the afternoon.  Well, the plants will have to do what they can under the circumstances.  Since I dug the garden in a part of the yard that used to be part of the chicken pen, they should be well fertilized.  My plan is to actually take care of this garden.  If I do, it will be the first time I haven't lost interest by the end of June.  Time will tell.

Life at the Farm

This is Spring at the farm. The horses are boB, Johnwayne, and Major.  After the picture I put the boys in the barn outside.  Because of the threat of rain, the morning crew left them inside, but once I got there it was clearing up.  It's hard to explain what working there does for me, but I'm a new person now that I've returned.