My student, Pat, called yesterday to ask about buying a painting. She ended up with this one. If I hadn't been so desperate for money, I would have refused to sell her anything, because I think she did it just to bail me out. This embarrasses me and makes me wish I hadn't talked so much about my financial situation in front of everyone at art group. It's too late now, but in the future I must remember how others may be hearing my tales of woe and keep my mouth shut. I talk about such things intending to be light and funny, possibly in the bargain trying to show my fortitude in the face of adversity. I feel silly when someone then offers to help me, even when it is slightly disguised. It was wonderful of Pat to do it, nevertheless, and her generosity is comfortingly amazing.
Well, all of this did not prevent me from running to the bank with my three hundred dollar check, then going directly to register my new car. After that I had it taken to the garage after a jump start and left it there overnight for inspection and repair. I made a trip to the grocery store, feeling normally affluent as I filled my basket. This morning the telephone ocmpany called to tell me they would disconnect my phone if I didn't pay something on my bill, so I told them I would send a hundred dollars. I thought my new-found wealth would cover the cost. However, when I went to get the car, the bill was over two hundred dollars. I had spent almost a hundred to register it, so my fortune was gone. Now I will have to write another bum check to the phone company or lose the phone. Well, things should get back to normal in a few weeks.
None of this dampened my spirits when I got behind the wheel of the new car. I loved it. I drove it to Harrington and back, feeling like a million dollars. I revelled in the fact that probably no one was looking at my car, that I did not stand out on the road for driving an out-of-date monstrosity. I realize that my mode of transportation probably did not concern anyone but me, but that doesn't negate my pleasure at having a non-descript car. I also enjoyed being back in a car that fits me. The sun visor actually came down low enough to shade my eyes, and I don't need a cushion to boost me up to see over the steering wheel. The front wheel drive gave me that old feeling of control that I missed with the Chrysler, which was like driving a boat.
I will say that I have enjoyed the experience of the "Capitalist Pig Car" and it has served me well. I'll always have a soft spot in my heart for it, partly because of the fact that Phyllis got it for me. Her kind of charity does not embarrass me for some reason...possibly because she doesn't try to disguise it. Because of that I can be openly grateful as well. Dear Phyllis.