Elizabeth and I are putting some work in a window in Calais. I really don't know how it came about, but somebody has an empty storefront to fill and we are going to do it. I am doing a painting of one of her sculptures and we will put them together like we did when we had our show at the gallery. This is a lot of fun for me, since I love Elizabeth's work and the women she creates in clay are wonderful subjects. Putting the three-dimensional work on a two dimensional surface is such an interesting thing visually and philosophically.
This is just the beginning of the painting, but I like it so much the way it is that I photographed it as is. I haven't decided how to work with the empty space, but it won't be very different from the way it is now. I just need to put some texture into the background, possibly suggesting plant life. Elizabeth didn't tell me what the figure is about, though it obviously has something to do with growing things. She is always saying something about the goddess-woman, the female being the source of all life. Her faces all look very much alike, very serene.
I am still working toward getting myself out of financial trouble and it has become something of a game for me. I make plans, writing figures in the little blocks on my calendar. I enjoy adding and subtracting, crossing things out, adding others. I watch the fuel gage on the furnace, smiling as I see it remaining above the half-full mark. I wrap myself in blankets when I watch TV in the evening, smug that I am conserving energy. I am making the oil I have last until I have the money to pay the last bill. I am willing to sacrifice in order to make ends meet. I am a responsible person. I am in control.
I've been watching the winter olympics this week and find I have lost my patriotism. I realize that I'm ashamed to be an American.