Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Big Ship, Dead Deer
This ship passed by the gallery while I was working the other day. I happened to have my camera, so snapped a picture. These huge freighters used to dock at the breakwater, right downtown. They dwarfed the buildings on water Street and loomed like skyscrapers above their roofs. Now they all go past us, down to the new terminal at Estes Head. I think everyone misses them.
Today I had stopped for gas and from the vantage point of the Mobil Station I witnessed a deer hit by a car only a short distance away. It was unbearable to watch the beautiful animal struggling and thrashing, resting, and then fighting some more to get up on its feet. After a few minutes it gave up and lay there, most likely terrified in its last moments. A police car pulled up, and though I looked away, I heard the gunshot that finally killed it.
I was on my way out of town, but I couldn't bear to pass the scene. I drove around for fifteen minutes or so, wondering if I should drive to Harrington as I had planned. I was horrified and consumed by despair. I heard myself alternately sobbing and screaming, unable to get the picture of the dying deer out of my head. This is the way my trip to Harrington went. I made a side trip in Machias to try and connect with Ann, but she was working elsewhere today. I felt that if anyone could understand how I felt, it would be her..........that she wouldn't think I was foolish for feeling the way I did. All I could do was talk with her very briefly on the phone and go on my way. The sound of her voice calmed me, though, and I moved on. Because of the stop I missed half my appointment with Serita and left there disappointed as well. On the way home the same feelings boiled up and receded again and again.
What an ugly creature is the human being, hairless except in a few rediculous spots like the hairless mole, homely beyond belief with his flat face and tiny features. He is unfit for survival if not for his grandiose brain, which lets him believe he is superior to all other animals, which gives him the right to take away the life of any animal besides his own kind. The deer who died was so beautiful, and the person who killed it drove on as if he had swatted a mosquito...........