Spring

It was a beautiful day today and I took this picture from the back door before I left for Ellsworth and Bangor. I had an appointment with WHCA to orient me to the job I am about to start next week as a volunteer driver. My financial situation necessitates my doing something that will bring in income, even if it is very small. Afterwards I drove to Bangor to visit Alice in the hospital. On the way I bought her a Teddy Bear. She once gave me a small stuffed tiger to remind me of her when she wasn't there, so I felt it appropriate. She seemed to really like it........it was adorable and very soft...good to hug. She looked very sick and weak, hooked up to oxygen. I was so happy to see her, though, and took a walk with her around the floor. She needed a walker, but managed to move along quite well. We talked for over an hour, roles seemingly reversed from the ones we were accustomed to. Nevertheless, we both slid into our new places without hesitation. I patted her back while she was sick, and covered her up with blankets when she got into bed. She talked to me about the terrible turn of events in her life, tears in her eyes. She held the Teddy Bear in her thin arms and stroked it.

This was overwhelming to me. I filled up with some intense emotion that was both love and anguish. It made me strong and desperate.