Saturday, July 09, 2005

Sleepless Night

I spoke to both Phyllis and Sue early last evening and began to panic about the housing situation. I felt as if both renting and buying were impossible choices, that either way I would be getting into personality problems with my benfactors. And benefactors they both portrayed themselves to be. Apparently I inspire in people a desire to help me, to take care of me. Yet these two certainly wanted me to be aware of the sacrifices they were making on my behalf. Though I do not consider myself of the "I don't want to be beholden' to anybody" type, nor do I want to feel like people are doing things for me under some self-imposed duress.

All night I tossed and turned, considering the options open to me. Rent from Sue, find another rent, buy from Phyllis, buy from someone else. WhileI was still flailing around inside my head, Phyllis called , and unaware of all the changes back and forth since our last conversation, preented me with her plan. I was swept up again by her organized, concrete thinking and found myself saying,yes, yes, yes, I'll do that. An email to Sue, refusing her offer to rent, set the course for the rest of my life.

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