Sunday, January 02, 2022

Post Christmas


 Well, Christmas was a big zero this year, thanks to the fact that I wasn't interested in doing anything in particular.  I did talk with Jesse (my son) and his wife via Zoom........what a trip that is!  My daughter didn't do much either, though we did talk.  We talk every week anyway, though.

My reason for posting now is that I have news about my living situation finally.  I had applied to several subsidized housing agencies (as I have in the past and then backed out) and finally reached the top of two very long waiting  lists here in Eastport.  I had thought of going back to Bangor, and I had actually applied there as well.  Still, I guess Eastport has become my home now and it appears it will remain so.  The situation has always been complicated by my insistence on having my pets wherever I go, but this time I managed to convince both places to allow me not only to have my dog and cat (and birds), but to have a two bedroom apartment (which ordinarily one person can not have).  I still don't know which place I will get because of another applicant having not made up her mind which apartment she will take, but both places are perfectly acceptable to me.  They are quite different, but either one will be fine with me.  Both are still in sight of the ocean.

Also, I have again changed doctors, and this one is actually ready to fix my hip.  Basically I decided to dismiss my rather obnoxious attitude that this area didn't have doctors I could trust , and made an appointment with one in Calais, just a half hour from here.  This will make everything so much easier, not to mention quicker.  So I am about to have some big changes.  I hate to leave this house, where I have lived since 1997, but I have to accept that I can not afford to stay here.  I've lived in apartments before, though, and never minded doing long as I can have my babies and an extra bedroom for a studio where I can paint.

Otherwise, life goes on.  I don't know if I've mentioned that an old friend of mine died recently and left me her car.  This, too, is going to be a life changer for me.  The car I had did not run most of the time.  My friend Phyllis (age 98) died recently and left me her car, a Mini Cooper.  It's a great car and I am very happy to have one I can depend on.  I can drive even with my bad hip for short distances and I'm thrilled to have reliable transportation again.  Eastport is so far away from everywhere and has no public transportation, and I am absolutely neurotic about asking anyone for help of any kind, especially transportation.

That's the way it is at this point and things are looking up. (The painting I posted is one I did a year or so ago, but I never posted it and it's one I really am proud's big.......maybe 30x40).  

In two days I will be 77.  Its hard to believe.

Monday, December 20, 2021

Latest paintings

 It has certainly been a long time since I posted anything............I think lethargy has overtaken me over the months, turning to a couple of years, that I have been basically housebound waiting to have hip replacement surgery.  My days are boring, though not unpleasant exactly.  Nevertheless, the days are boring in terms of activity worth writing about. (Although when did I need activity to write?)  Anyway, I am stuck in my routines, which are very limited and boring,  Lately I've been trying to find different housing again.  I simply can not afford this house and need to move into some assisted living kind of place where you pay depending on your income.  I have applied to three different places, but these things move very slowly and I wait.

Thinking about moving inspired me for awhile to move back to Bangor, where I lived most of my life.  I have since changed my mind, although I let my application to Capehart, a low income community, remain.  I have also applied to three places here in Eastport.  The wheels of bureaucracy (sp?) turn very slowly and I have heard nothing one way or the other.  During the weeks I was planning to move to Bangor I began a series of paintings of my surroundings here in Eastport to remember my life here.  Probably I won't need reminding now, and have only to look out the window.

Anyway, I am thankfully happy enough in my isolation (due to my hip, my lack of a car, and the relatively small number of friends I have here).  I have always liked being alone, and I have my dog and cat for company.  They are much more agreeable than people anyway and I enjoy my solitary life while I wait for surgery (if only I had the money to pay for more heat).  Actually even that is no longer a problem because one of my long-time affluent friends has offered to pay for my heat for a few months, and another friend who recently died at the age of 96 left her car to me.  It's a wonderful car...she was quite wealthy (and a famous scientist) and the car is really wonderful.  I can drive despite my hip (walking is my problem and I have to use a walker or two canes), so I can now get to the grocery store and my various doctors without bothering others to take me.

So life goes on in a diminished kind of way and I am content.

Saturday, August 14, 2021

 This is the view I have as I'm having my breakfast. ( or any meal that I eat at the table, which is rare).  I have only to look at it and I feel lucky to be in such a place.  That is the Atlantic Ocean, the Bay of Fundy, which looks far away in the photo but is actually just down the hill.  I can walk there in three or four minutes.  The land in the background is Canada.  At the bottom of the street is a rocky cliff, impossible  to climb unless you sneak into the yard of the people (summer people) who  own  the last house on the street and have a long, steep set of stairs decorated with  "No Trespassing " signs.  Those people are rarely there, but the signs indicate that the place is booby trapped with alarms.  I imagine that the local police wouldn't bother to investigate if they were triggered, but I don't dare take the chance.  If it weren't for using a walker as I do I could climb down the cliff about twenty feet away.  I used to do it and hopefully will again.  The pebbly beach is  fairly narrow at high tide, but very wide when the tide is out  Eastport has some of the highest tides in the world.  The downtown has a huge wharf where cargo ships used to come in,   Old msotly abandoned factories line the waterfront just behind the downtown.  Lobster, Cod, and other sea creatures were the lifeblood of the town.  Even after I moved here there used to be cargo ships coming in, dwarfing the three and four story buildings along the waterfront.  Now the downtown is pretty shabby, trying to be a tourist attraction with boat excursions and various other tourist stuff, but Eastport is too far away from the mainland to attract most tourists, especially since there are no attractions either here of for hundreds of miles around.  If you aren't on your way to Canada, you don't come near Eastport........and even if you do  you would have to make an unrewarding seven mile detour through the reservation and beyond.

Well I didn't mean to go on about the town, but I do love it here.  My mind now is full of my various health issues.......not that I am nervous about them for that reason,  The huge problem facing me is getting doctors and dentists to do the things that are required before I can have surgery to replace my hip.  For over two years I have been trying to work out the logistics and trying to find dentists and doctors who will treat poor people such as I am.  Finally there seems to be some progress with a couple of things......

Well, that issue is tedious and since I began this post I have been to lunch with two friends, visited Diana in preparation for tomorrow's trip to the Dentist in Bangor, and given Elliot his supper.  One more step toward my fitness for surgery is to pull three teeth, which will happen Monday.

Wednesday, July 21, 2021

 It's been so long since I posted anything I know nothing about the changes to Blogger, but I will soldier on as long as I know how to click the "post" icon.  I haven't known how to post comments, either, so even though I have been reading the posts I follow I haven't commented on them.  My biggest joy was to find out that my blog friend in Michigan did not re-home her dog, as she was considering when she left the west.  I fairly leapt for joy when I read that the dog moved with her and her husband after all.  Not only that, but the dog is adjusting to his new environment reasonably well.  I'm sure he is much happier being with those he loves than he would have had he had to adjust to a new family.

As, for me, nothing has really changed other than the weather.  Maine is like two different countries, changing drastically from hot to cold and back again.  Because Eastport is an island, the water moderates the temperature.....that gigantic puddle called the Atlantic ocean.  It's like living on two different planets. It's not as hot as it is inland in the summer, and not as cold in the winter.  I once had a huge Chrysler (SP??) that had a thermometer above the dashboard.  As I turned off route one to take the causeway to Eastport I could watch the temperature drop by 8 0r 10 degrees as I passed through the Passamaquoddy reservation and on to Eastport.  For me, who really hates heat, it was a very welcome sight.  The water temperature is much too cold to swim, though every January there is a "Polar Dip" on the reservation.  Many people from town participate as well (basically people under thirty), stripping to bathing suits in temperatures hovering well below freezing (sometimes as cold as 0 or less).  There are ambulances standing by and medics to tend to the people who underestimate their tolerance for cold.  At the signal the crowd races into the water, splashes around for a minute or two, and then races back to the rocky shore.  The spectators applaud and yell encouragement. The faint of heart who stand on the shore wrap the swimmers in blankets (if they can still stand).  Ambulance drivers sometimes have to assist.  Once in awhile someone has to be taken into the ambulance., rarely to the hospital.  Meanwhile we spectators applaud and cheer.  It is a yearly ritual that is a rare friendly event that includes both the reservation people and the people who live in the town.

When I first moved to Eastport I was shocked by the prejudice against the Passamaquoddy tribe.  The longer I live here, the more amazed I am by it.  It is humanity at its worst, the details of which I wont bother to describe.  As people "from away" move here in greater numbers, I like to think that there will be a shift, but I see little evidence of it at this point.  Before I saw it for myself I would never have believed how much bad feeling there is between the native Americans and the whites.  We are accustomed to the terrible state of our relationship with the Black population, but our attitude toward native Americans is, if anything, even worse.  

Well, I don't want to belabor that point.  I am not a crusader.  I only look on in horror.

I am still waiting for my surgery, so I hobble around with my walker.  It's been two years (sigh).