Sunday, January 20, 2008

Bathroom Window,Thoughts of Alice

I started this small painting last week when I noticed this view out the bathroom window. In the summer when the trees have leaves on them I don't realize how much I can see of the neighborhood. These houses are all on Clark street. The white house at the left edge is the place where I lived years ago (also pictured in the earlier painting looking out the shed door). I looked forward to doing all the bare branches in this one since I had never undertaken such a profusion of them. I was very content at Sydney's on art day picking away until I figured out how to get the idea across. Once I accomplished it, I couldn't take my eyes off them. I was so enthralled that it took me days to get back to the finishing touches of the rest of the painting, mainly adjusting values. The trees were wonderful but everything was one mass of jumbled shapes. Today I lightened and darkened until things fell into their own place in space. I like this painting very much, but I'm not sure it's for the right reasons. I'll have to get over my love affair with the trees and bushes before I can see the thing with any kind of objectivity.

While I am at it, I may as well say a few words about Alice. I am in touch with her by phone every week. It's hard to describe the serge of emotions I feel when I think about her. Her life has fallen apart so completely that it's indescribable. To think of her as she was before she got sick is almost unbearable to me. She struggled against so many obstacles to get where she was, and now she has lost it all. I saw her so strong, so compassionate.... a person with unlimited curiosity and such a thirst for knowledge. She gave so much to other people, to me. To say that life is unfair is a gross understatement where she is concerned. Life has been cruel, even sadistic toward her. I am struck dumb when I try to absorb it all.

It is impossible for me to help her, to be to her what she was to me. I am powerless and frustrated. I want to wrap my arms around her, bring her home, and take care of her.
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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Those trees and bushes are worthy of your affection!

Such a sad post - but so eloquent.